The first Parent Ed talk of the 2020-2021 school year was held on Wednesday night with Dr. Chelsey Hague-Zavaleta from Positive Parenthood. Thank you to all those who attended! The topic was “Managing Big Feelings During the Pandemic,” and attendees walked away with some great parenting tools and new perspectives.
In case you missed it, here are some bullet points:
- STAY CONNECTED to your child through their big feelings.
- PRAISE and PRESENCE are the two most effective ways to make a connection and therefore get your child to cooperate. Look for the things they are doing RIGHT and comment authentically. Put your phone down and be in the moment with your kids. 5 minutes of uninterrupted time is more valuable than 30 minutes of getting up to change the laundry or checking your phone.
- As adults, we need to take responsibility for the emotional landscape; children respond to our state. This means we need to TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES!
- Don’t try to fix big feelings. Instead, join them. Be present, and validate your child’s feelings.
- Practice “3 yesses” to connect with a child who is having big feelings. Say 3 statements that you know they will agree with. “You really wish you were still playing video games” or “You were really looking forward to seeing your friend today.”
- About 80% of what we tell our kids on any given day are directions or corrections. Try to focus on having 80% of your interactions with kids be praise/connection.
- There is no perfect parenting. We make mistakes, and then we repair – it’s important for our children to learn that.
Visit Positive Parenthood’s website for more information. Positive Parenthood also has a Facebook page where Dr. Hague-Zavaleta often posts videos with scenarios and reminders; it is a great resource for any parent. Ask to join and Dr. Hague-Zavaleta will include you in the conversation!