Head’s Corner: Lighthouse Parenting

This blog was inspired by Russell Shaw’s Atlantic essay, “Lighthouse Parents Have More Confident Kids.” Shaw’s description of the lighthouse parent—a steady adult who offers guidance and support without trying to control every part of a child’s journey—gave me a useful way to think about the work we do with children at Saklan.

Parenting did not become a commonly used verb until around 1970.

Before that, people were simply parents.

Since then, parenting has become something we study, measure, and constantly try to improve. There are books, podcasts, experts, courses, apps, and endless advice about how to raise children well.

Developmental psychologist Alison Gopnik suggests that instead of seeing children as people with whom we are in relationship, we can begin to see them as projects whose outcomes we are responsible for producing.

She describes the difference as being like the difference between a carpenter and a gardener.

I do not think she is far off.

Along the way, we have developed all sorts of labels for parents: helicopter parents, snowplow parents, tiger parents, free-range parents, concierge parents, and more. 

But the image that best reflects the kind of parenting we try to encourage at Saklan is the lighthouse parent.

Think of a lighthouse as a steady presence. It offers light, direction, and warning when rocks lie ahead. But it does not pursue the boat, take the wheel, or eliminate the waves.

That is something I fail at regularly.

When my daughter Finn struggles, my instinct is often to fix the problem. A few months ago, I saw a student who was visibly upset and sitting alone. I went over to help. I asked questions about what was wrong and what I could do.

It was not helping. In fact, the tears increased.

Finn was nearby and came over to whisper in my ear, “Daddy, talking does not help. You always do that.” 

She was right.

Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do is not offer a solution immediately. Sometimes (most times?) our children need us to listen, acknowledge what is hard, and give them room to find their way through the experience.

When I am at my best, I ask: “Do you want to be heard, to be hugged, or to be helped?”

That question communicates I hear you, I am here for you, I believe you can handle this.

That does not mean we leave children on their own. Lighthouse parenting is not passive parenting. Lighthouses still warn us about danger. They provide guidance and boundaries. They shine a light when the way forward is unclear.

But they do not calm the waves or move the rocks- nor should they.

At Saklan, we believe children are capable. We believe mistakes are part of learning. We believe clear boundaries express care. And we believe that struggle is healthy.

We cannot make the water perfectly calm for our children. Nor should we want to. Children need opportunities to face challenges, take risks, recover from mistakes, repair relationships, and discover that they are more capable than they realized.

Our work is to provide the steady light they need to find their way.

Warmly, 

David 

Calling all Guest Experts

Authenticity takes center stage in Saklan projects. Students work with experts to make connections between the classroom content and authentic applications for our coursework in the world outside of school. This means we are frequently connecting with guest experts like you to support the student inquiry process! 

Each year we look forward to connecting with new experts to enrich and deepen our project curriculum. Complete the Google form linked below to join our Saklan expert resource list. We will be in touch if there is a PBL unit where your areas of expertise can support student learning. 

Guest Expert Volunteer Form

Have additional questions? Email Linda Lathrop, our Project Curriculum Instructional Coach, at llathrop@saklan.org. 

#SaklanGuestExperts #SaklanProjectWork

Little Moments, Big Confidence

One of the goals of Saklan’s Early Childhood program is to help children build confidence and independence throughout their day. At age three, children are developmentally ready to begin taking on small responsibilities, and everyday routines provide meaningful opportunities to practice these emerging skills.

In the Owlet and Hoot Owl classrooms, teachers encourage children to take responsibility for their belongings and participate in their daily routines. This might look like carrying their own backpacks, putting their belongings away in their cubbies, or getting their lunches out independently.

Teachers also encourage children to practice other everyday skills, such as putting on and taking off their jackets, putting their shoes back on, and placing their lunchboxes inside their backpacks.

These may seem like small tasks, and sometimes it can feel easier or faster for an adult to do them. But for young children, these moments are important opportunities to learn.

Building Skills Through Everyday Routines

As children practice these routines, they are developing much more than independence. They are building:

  • Confidence as they experience the satisfaction of accomplishing something on their own
  • Responsibility as they learn to care for their belongings
  • Problem-solving skills as they figure out how to complete a task
  • Coordination and fine-motor skills through everyday movements and routines
  • Perseverance as they keep trying when something feels challenging

Most importantly, children begin to develop a growing sense of “I can do it!”

That feeling of capability is powerful. When children are given the time, encouragement, and space to try things for themselves, they begin to see themselves as capable and confident learners.

At Saklan, we know that meaningful learning happens in both the big moments and the small ones. Sometimes, putting a lunchbox in a backpack is more than just putting away a lunchbox; it’s a chance for a child to practice independence, solve a problem, and discover that they are capable of doing something all on their own.

What Is Democracy?

What is the meaning of the word “democracy”?

That was the question Saklan’s eighth graders explored as they launched their 2026 Midterm Elections study. Before diving into the details of elections and the political process, students first took a step back to consider the meaning of one of the central ideas behind them: democracy.

To begin, the class read and discussed a series of quotes about democracy. Students considered different perspectives, shared their interpretations, and began thinking about what ideas and values are at the heart of a democratic society.

Defining Democracy Through Words and Images

Next, students were invited to contribute to a classroom display by choosing one of two creative responses.

They could create a sketch in response to the question, “What image or symbol might we use to represent democracy?” Or, they could write their own definition of democracy.

The different responses allowed students to explore the concept from both visual and written perspectives. What symbols represent democracy? What values are essential to it? What does democracy look like in practice?

Finally, the class came together for a group brainstorm. Students shared their ideas and identified the concepts they felt were most important to include in a collective definition of democracy.

Their ideas were brought together into a final list that is on display in the Saklan Library, creating a student-generated definition that will serve as a starting point for their continued exploration throughout the elections unit.

By beginning with a question rather than a predetermined definition, our eighth graders are learning that understanding democracy requires more than memorizing a word. It requires asking questions, considering different perspectives, listening to others, and thinking critically about the ideas that shape our communities and our world.

The Sun Has Arrived!

The Sun, Saklan’s annual magazine, has officially arrived! Filled with stories, photos, and reflections from the past school year, The Sun celebrates the people, learning, and experiences that make the Saklan community so special. It’s a chance to look back at the many ways our students think creatively, act compassionately, and live courageously throughout the year.

Current Saklan families, if you haven’t already received your family’s copy, please check your child’s Friday Folder or backpack, as it is coming home today.

Alumni Families and Grandparents: We would love to send you a copy of our magazine. Please email Emily at ewilliamson@saklan.org to share your address with us, and we will drop one in the mail for you!

We hope you’ll take some time to flip through the pages, revisit some favorite moments, and celebrate all that our students and community accomplished together.

Happy reading!

Head’s Corner: Making Space for the Fire

This morning, Saklan families gathered around a campfire to begin our first “Discussions with David.” It was a time carved out to slow down and build community.

The center of our morning was Judy Brown’s poem “Fire.” The poem describes how a fire needs space between the logs to breathe and grow. Too much wood packed too tightly can extinguish a fire just as surely as a lack of fuel.

That image stayed with me.

In our lives, we spend much of our time thinking about the logs: the email inbox, projects, schedules, events, routines, getting kids here or there, planning dinner, responsibilities, and activities that fill our days. All of those things matter. 

But “Fire” reminded me that the spaces in between are meant to let the fire breathe, and are as important as the logs. The moment we pause to really listen. The conversation that continues around the dinner table after a child shares something that happened at school. The time families spend getting to know one another at CLAS, culminations, or over a weekend playdate. The invitation that helps someone feel included and welcomed in the life of our community. The willingness to ask a question, share a perspective, or just listen with intention—even when family schedules are full, mornings are rushed, and everyone is carrying the ordinary joys and challenges of daily life.

Those spaces are where relationships grow.

As we begin this school year, I hope we can continue creating more of those spaces at Saklan. Our children benefit when the adults around them are connected and working together. Partnership does not mean that we will always agree or see things in exactly the same way. It means that we communicate, listen, and remember that we are all here because we care deeply about our children and this community.

Thank you to everyone who joined us and helped make the morning so special. I left feeling grateful for the community we are building together—and reminded that sometimes the most important work begins when we slow down and make a little more space.

Our next “Discussions with David” will be a Drumming Edition on Friday, October 2. Isaac, Saklan’s African drumming teacher, will join us to share how drumming helps develop listening, communication, and collaboration skills—and, yes, we will all have a chance to drum. 

I hope you’ll join us.

Warmly, 

David

#SaklanCommunity #HeadsCorner

Staff Spotlight: Victoria

There’s something special about the little moments in early childhood: a child gaining confidence, discovering something new, or running across the room simply because they’re excited to see their teacher. For Victoria, these moments are among the most rewarding parts of being a teacher at Saklan.

Victoria is beginning her fourth school year at Saklan, and during that time, she has taken on multiple roles, including Owlet teacher, ECE music teacher, and bus monitor. Each experience has helped her grow as an educator and deepened her appreciation for the important role teachers play in children’s early years.

Learning Through Creativity

Creativity is at the heart of Victoria’s teaching. She loves art, hands-on projects, and giving children opportunities to explore, experiment, and—yes—get a little messy.

“I especially enjoy taking something simple and turning it into an experience where the children can create, experiment, and make it their own,” Victoria says.

Whether students are creating something with their hands, trying a new idea, or discovering what happens when they experiment, Victoria encourages them to be curious and embrace the process of learning.

That philosophy extends to the advice she hopes her students carry with them: “Be curious, be kind, and never be afraid to try something new.” She also wants them to understand that mistakes are part of learning—and that some of the best discoveries happen when we try again.

A New Musical Chapter

This spring brought a special new opportunity for Victoria as she stepped into her role as the Music Teacher for the Owlet and Hoot Owl classes.

Her favorite memory from the spring concert was not just the final performance, but everything that happened along the way. She loved teaching the children their songs, watching them build confidence, and seeing their hard work come together on stage.

“It was especially meaningful because it was my very first time stepping into my new role,” she says. “I’m so proud of them and grateful that I got to be part of that process.”

Creating a Classroom They Remember

When Victoria thinks about what she hopes her students will remember about their time in her classroom, it goes beyond a particular lesson or activity.

She hopes they remember a place where they felt safe, loved, and comfortable being themselves. She hopes they remember getting messy, being silly, creating things, asking questions, and having fun.

“Most of all, I hope they remember that their teachers genuinely cared about them and were always excited to see them.”

That sense of connection is also one of the things Victoria appreciates most about Saklan’s community. She especially enjoys CLAS, which gives students opportunities to come together, build relationships, and experience things outside their everyday classroom. She loves seeing teachers and families work together to make those experiences meaningful for students.

Life Beyond Saklan

Outside of school, Victoria loves spending time with family and friends, traveling and exploring new places, and enjoying the little things in life. She is always happy to find a good cup of coffee—or boba!

When she has free time, you might find Victoria at the beach, hiking, or curled up with a good book. She especially enjoys romance and thriller novels.

Whether she’s in the classroom helping a child discover something new, teaching a group of students their first concert songs, or enjoying time with the people she loves, Victoria brings the same spirit of curiosity, creativity, and connection to everything she does.

We are grateful to have Victoria as part of the Saklan community!

#SaklanStaff #SaklanCommunity

Taste of Traditions

Save the date for the 3rd Annual Taste of Traditions Dance and Potluck on Saturday, October 17th. The event will be held from 5:00 – 7:30 p.m. on the Saklan Sports Court. All Saklan families, students, and alumni are invited to join us for this family-friendly community party!

Special thanks to the Saklan Parent Association for hosting this event. Stay tuned for more information!

#SaklanCommunity #SaklanPA

Learning Buddies are Back!

The excitement was contagious this morning as Saklan’s Preschool – 5th grade students met their new Learning Buddies for the year!

A beloved Saklan tradition, the Learning Buddy program brings students from different grade levels together to build friendships, practice responsibility, and learn from one another. From Preschool through eighth grade, Saklan students have opportunities to be both learners and mentors, creating connections that extend beyond their own classrooms.

During their first meeting, buddies spent time getting to know one another before settling in for some shared reading. Older students modeled strong reading skills, using expression, fluency, and confidence as they read alongside their younger buddies. They also practiced an equally important skill: being an attentive and encouraging listener as their younger buddies proudly read aloud.

The smiles and excitement throughout the morning said it all. Older students embraced their new roles as mentors and role models, while younger students were eager to share, read, and spend time with their new friends.

By the end of the morning, there was already one question on everyone’s mind: When do we get to meet with our buddies again?

We can’t wait to watch these relationships grow throughout the year as our students learn from one another, encourage one another, and grow together.

#SaklanCommunity #SaklanLeadership

Upcoming Parent Education Events

Parenting today comes with endless advice, but finding trusted support can be harder than ever. Saklan is thrilled to partner with ParentMap again this year to bring parents together for live online discussions featuring leading experts on the most pressing parenting issues, from ADHD and mental health to EdTech and resilience. 

The ParentMap Talks series kicks off on Sept. 24 with New York Times bestselling authors and viral content creators The Holderness Family, who will share stories and strategies from their book “ADHD is Awesome: How to (Mostly) Thrive with ADHD.”

Register now to unlock all eight live Zoom talks, plus on-demand access to the entire library of recordings to watch anytime, anywhere for free. To claim your complimentary tickets ($80 value), sign up here and enter promo code SAKSCHL. 

2026-2027 Speaker Lineup

ADHD Is Awesome: How to (Mostly) Thrive With ADHD
With Penn and Kim Holderness, viral creators and New York Times bestselling authors
Sept. 24, 2026, noon–1 p.m. PT

Human Raised: Helping Kids Flourish in the Age of AI
With Dana Suskind, pediatric surgeon and New York Times bestselling author
Oct. 15, 2026, noon–1 p.m. PT

When EdTech Disrupts Learning: How Parents Can Speak Up
With Emily Cherkin, M.Ed., The Screentime Consultant
Nov. 10, 2026, noon–1 p.m. PT

Raising Capable Kids: Are We Helping Our Children Too Much?
With Lenore Skenazy, author of “Free-Range Kids” and co-founder of Let Grow
Jan. 21, 2027, noon–1 p.m. PT

Less Awkward: How to Handle Growing Up, From Early Signs to Hard Questions 
With Dr. Cara Natterson, pediatrician and bestselling author 
Feb. 9, 2027, noon–1 p.m. PT

Growing Good Humans: Raising Kind Kids in a Divided World
With Uju Asika, bestselling author and global speaker 
March 10, 2027, noon–1 p.m. PT

Parent Without the Panic: Worry Less and Trust Yourself More 
With Dr. Michael Milobsky, board-certified pediatrician and father of seven
April 20, 2027, noon–1 p.m. PT

The Motherhood Trap: Why You Feel Like You’re Failing — and Why You’re Not
With Reshma Saujani, Time 2026 Woman of the Year and founder of Girls Who Code and Moms First
May 4, 2027, noon–1 p.m. PT

#SaklanParentEd